Boyz II Men

2-2-19

My grandmother passed away this morning at the age of 96. It was something we knew was on the horizon due to health issues over the past two months. Knowing she lived a full life and has been in a lot of pain for many years made it easier to process the news. Nevertheless, as I was heading to track practice this morning, I was in need of comfort. Like the majority of humanity, I found it in the music of my adolescence. Although I try to be open-minded as I age in regards to new music, I do find myself questioning the music interests of young people “these days.”

In Neural Nostalgia Mark Joseph Stern writes, “As I plod through my 20s, I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon: The music I loved as a teenager means more to me than ever—but with each passing year, the new songs on the radio sound like noisey nonsense. On an objective level, I know this makes no sense. I cannot seriously assert that Ludacris’ ‘Rollout’ is artistically superior to Katy Perry’s ‘Roar,’ yet I treasure every second of the former and reject the latter as yelping pablum.”

I turned on 90’s Pandora and let my mind drift. I know every decade has a story to tell in regards to the music which is produced within it. For me, my interests were all over the map. In 4th grade, I could not get enough of the Beastie Boys (“Licensed to Ill” randomly came with a radio I received for a gift), Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer, and Boyz II Men. In 5th grade, Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic” was curiously enjoyed alongside Metallica’s “Black” album. Throughout this time, my best friend was really into country, so I received a steady diet of Garth Brooks. By the time I hit 7th grade, “Grunge” was in and Pearl Jam was established as my favorite band of all-time. What made discovering new music the gift that kept on giving was connecting it with old music. It turned out there were some pretty decent groups in the 60’s and 70’s worth investigating!

The range and intensity of emotions we can feel when listening to music are astounding. The feelings I get when I hear songs which were introduced to me during my adolescence are way more intense than ones that I enjoyed listening to in my 30’s. Why is that so? Stern states, “Music lights sparks of neural activity in everybody. But in young people, the spark turns into a fireworks show. Between the ages of 12 and 22, our brains undergo rapid neurological development—and the music we love during that decade seems to get wired into our lobes for good.”

While driving, I do not remember what the first few songs were, but then, Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” came on. Released in 1992, it spent a record breaking 13 weeks at #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100. The song was a BIG deal. If anyone is thinking about giving me crap for talking about a Boyz II Men song, just listen to them and tell me that they are not the perfect example of a team. Each one brings a unique skill set that when combined with others creates a whole much greater than the sum of its parts.

The idea of their teamwork came to my mind, and then I started to think about the track team I am associated with. In the years I have been with the boys’ track program at H-F, our staff has done its very best to create an enjoyable environment coupled with high expectations to ensure those who are involved create lifelong memories with many moments of success along the way.

We do not apologize for intentionally making the environment fun whenever we have the chance. We need to provide the opportunity for our adolescent males to be BOYZ.  They need an environment to express themselves, act a fool, engage in horseplay, and compete while having fun. I am 37 years old, and I do my best to spend 25% of my life acting in an age range of 4 – 18. Being goofy and playing is healthy. It leads to enjoyment. When people enjoy what they do, they become fully invested in it. “Want to” is so much more powerful than “have to.”  I have heard athletes of other sports say, “We would have won more games if we could just have been allowed to have fun in practice.” Fun is part of getting athletes to want to come to practice, and strangely enough, when the want is there, things tend to go the right way.

We have been doing a “Friday Fun Warm Up” for a few years now, but have recently taken it to a new level. Here is a list of activities we did yesterday:

Here is a link to the video of the warm up. As I watch it, my favorite parts are the amount of smiles I see and how the athletes make it their own. While they are crawling or doing a wheelbarrow, they attempt to take out another athlete’s arm. While they are moving around, they will try to “juke” a teammate.  

They also have to be aware of their surroundings and individual movement. While they are moving their head is on a swivel. I’d say this has a connection to field/court sports. From a track coach’s perspective, I understand it is difficult to keep tabs on an athlete’s form during this chaos, but we have chosen to let it go for a day. Track coaches are rightfully sticklers when it comes to technique, but sometimes you just have to provide an environment for an athlete to figure things out on their own.   

I also appreciate the thinking which comes along with it. When we ask them to move like a certain animal, they ask, “What do you mean?” And we get to respond, “What do you think it means?” It causes them to be creative, which is unfortunately getting sucked out of our culture.    

This does not stop with coaching sports.  It is also true within the classroom. Our education system is broken. Instead of being a ground for cultivating curiosity, we kill it with curriculum designed to improve test scores. I’ve heard Tony Holler say many times, “We urge kids to speak and move for the first few years of their lives, and then tell them to sit down and shut up for the next 20.” At some point, I hope our system will swing back to developing what truly matters – lighting a fire, not filling a pail (W.B. Yeats).

For every Yin there is a Yang. Yes, we do our best to provide an enjoyable environment, but not everything can be fun and games. There must be times where athletes are required to be MEN. To put comfort aside and do what is best for their family. On Wednesday, my son woke up from his nap and puke was all over his crib. My wife does not clean up puke because she would puke and then there would be more puke to clean up. As disgusting and unenjoyable as it was, I manned up and cleaned it. There are parts training which are not fun. We must do them to reach a level that we did not know was possible for us to attain. There are times when we have to put the social piece of practice aside to reach a level of intent that will make it more likely for us to reach that unattainable level. The only limit we impose is one on ourselves. When pushing to the maximum, how crazy is the belief in ourselves in regards to what our maximum may be?

Maybe if we provide more opportunities for our adolescents to be BOYZ, it will lead them to be better MEN. I notice an increased focus in athletes after they are given “boy time.” The transition into “man time” is seamless because the immature energy is out of their system. Immature energy is not a bad thing. It is biology. We just need to give adolescent males opportunities to express it appropriately. This is why quality P.E. and multiple recesses should exist from elementary through secondary education. The brain is best prepared to learn after intense physical activity (read “Spark” by John Ratey).

One commonality I find amongst extraordinary people is they follow a regimen of 30-90 minute chunks of time which rotate between physical activity, deep work (no distractions), and rest. Yet, our secondary schools have students sit for six to seven hours and every teacher expects deep work. You know what days are the most exhausting for me? Sitting in a teacher institute for five hours. Not because I do not appreciate professional development, but because sitting for five hours sucks the life out of me.

Does any of this resonate with you?  

What can you do to make an impact in your role?

Life sure creates an unpredictable domino effect.

Rob Assise
@HFJumps